Warning – this post is a bit ‘deep’ and could be classified as ‘philosophical’ not remotely funny – read on at your own risk and peril!
I’m reading a book called ‘Not that kind of Girl’ at the moment which would officially be classified as a memoir. The author talks about living a life where you have memories that you will think back on later in life and laugh at and about not regretting anything or wishing it to be otherwise – even the less ideal things that happen, because these things all bring you to be the person you are now. I have always aligned myself with this attitude very much, so this is nothing new, however the book naturally made me think about my own life, as we do from time to time – and question myself:
- Am I living a life that I will enjoy thinking back on in my own ‘later years?’
- Will I cringe when I recall the craziest or less sensible things I have done and or will I smile, smirk and laugh?
- Will I say to myself ‘ I wish I didn’t do that’! or ‘I wish I DID do that’!
- Am I experiencing things that will inspire me and possibly others around me now and later’?
I sometimes look around me and think ‘ how did I get here’. Especially on days where my timehop app shows me that only a year or seven ago, I was living a life so different it is quite bizarre to consider. I then look around again, smile and think ‘however I got here, I am so glad I am here’ and no, I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’ve learnt recently that sometimes in life you just need to let go of the way of life and attitude of “I have to” or “I should”or worse still ‘I cant’ or “I shouldn’t”. I also am trying to not do things because I think somebody else disagrees with it. Sure it may make things a little more difficult when I don’t have the most grown up property portfolio or am not asset rich at 40. I may not have focused on my career as much as I “could have” or “should have” over the past few years, but again, I still would not change a thing.
I can tell you that even though some days ARE hard (like the days when it’s so cold that the air hurts my face and I wonder why I live somewhere that the air hurts my face), sometimes it is incredibly lonely for a little extrovert like myself (like when all of your London people leave town coincidently on the same weekend), sometimes you can only afford cheese on toast for dinner (partly because you had to pay for your trip to Brugge for the Christmas markets and a flight to Dublin in the same pay month) and on your birthday when the world feels especially big and your most treasured of family and friends feel especially far away, again, I would not trade it for anything.
I’ve never felt so alive and free in my life till now. I am experiencing things and learning at a rate of knots. Every day brings something unknown and new. Things that make me sometimes rub my eyes and think ‘am I really here’ ‘what the hell is happening’. But one thing I know for certain, I will most definitely smile and smirk to myself and with my very special new London friends and family in years to come. I know this with certainty because I already do. Living life the way that I am living it now brings a big real smile to my face. I have always found life to be amazing, but as each day goes by I know for sure I am following the right path – nobody, especially myself knows where the path is heading, but that is part of the fun! Life experiences and memories like this are more precious than diamonds and to me, more valuable than physical possessions. They say that adventure is the best way to learn – I am definitely happy to be a student of that school of thought!
So, try not to over think things. Relax a little, don’t let yourself be always so serious and start saying YES when you would usually say no! Inspire yourself and live a life that makes you smile!